My horoscope is more like a horrorscope

Okay, this is the time of year when my parents start getting all huffed up about my marriage. A little too soon? A little too early? I'm a still kid? Well, apparently for my parents, finding my prince perfect would take around a decade. I am surprised they didn't start the hunt when I was just born. They're more than 20 years late! Nevermind. So with all this fuss about starting the process, I get to know some intriguing details about myself through my religious portfolio -- The Horoscope! For many of you who are unaware of the term, check out the link. Remember the time when I told you guys about the great great Arranged Marriage in my community? Well, it seems that it is a big deal and everything has to go perfectly according to the plan.

Now, before I go into the groom samples (another post scheduled for that), I'll tell you the highlights of my horoscope. I know all most of you won't believe in it and so do I but it's always fun to know some whacky things about oneself. Or, atleast that's what I thought. I tried to sneak into my horoscope because it seems that one is not supposed to see their own. Yeah, talk about constraints. Anyway, now I know why one is NOT allowed to do so because it turns out that my life is going to be some kind of a dead end zone. Check these out

I cannot do a love marriage because apparently I'll kill the guy or he'll die of some tragic disease because of me.

I will own ''several'' kids. I'm afraid to have even one but several. I don't know if it's scary or being blessed?!

I will earn LOTS of cash by my 40s -- The time when my life will just be starting and I'll be a married woman worrying about my husband's affairs. Well, lucky me eh?

I will apparently have a possibility of a car crash when I'm in my 30s. So there goes the cash.

I will divorce my first husband to marry a second guy. My parents were worried I won't even marry one. Oh, and I divorce that one too which will shoo away my kids.

My grandson will be the most handsome man. WTH will I do with that? I mean good for him and his crushes maybe?I'd prolly not be even with him because I've already shoo-ed away my kids according to the previous point or I'll be dead already.

Do you ACTUALLY think I'm gonna read it any further? To hell with horoscope man, I'm glad knowing where I am and what I am without it. God forbid if those points turn out to be true, I'm going downtown. Ofcourse, for clubbing and become a gangsta. I wanna start living already. :|

Remember those days when life was simpler and my mother thought I was gay?

A guilty mother's apology to her baby blog.

Just noticed that many people have put up blogoversary on their blogs to celebrate their blog's birthday. I think it's kind of sweet that how much people care about their blogs. To me this blog is much more than an online journal. It's my baby! I always wanted to adopt one but iThoughts is my very own baby. I gave birth to it without any witty funny man or smart seed of any righteous soul, but just with a keyboard and my mind.

And today the thought struck me deep when I started thinking about my blog. I've been a horrible mother. When I was putting the birth date of my blog on the blogoversary link, it appeared to me that iThoughts is going to be 2 years old while many of you will see that it has just completed 1 year which is not true. I remember deleting my blog and account -- almost everything when a storm hit my life. You know those times when you wanna end everything when nothing's going right? Yeah, I've been through it. But this blog was everything to me. It was a very popular, funny and happy space. Not only did it make me laugh but entertained many others. I remember it had many followers. Everything got over when one of my moods struck me. It kinda makes me regret that time.

I feel like I've killed my baby with my own hands. Kinda aborted it or something. So here's something for you, iThoughts

I will always hold you close to me

You've been my only diary whenever I wanted to talk to someone

You never react but always understood me

You were able to pull out my thoughts and place it here

You cheered up many souls, kudos to that

You made me think a little more everytime I came to you

You will always be my dearest! And not even once will I ever think of deleting you from my life EVER

Mommy is sorry that she has been so harsh to you but I'm ready to pay my dues. Whatever it takes you to keep you alive, I'll do it. I'll feed you everyday with anything that I'm capable of. Most importantly, I love you the most and you mean the world to me.

On a funny note though: I apologize for trying to change your clothes so many times and being a terrible shopping freak when it came to picking out the perfect theme for you. Someday, I'll design your clothes with my own hands and make you look like a shiny piece of journal.

I love you, my baby girl. :)

BTW, iThoughts is a girl because she has all the colours of life. She's sensitive and funny at the same time. And soon I'll think of a name for you on your 2nd birthday. Till then, we'll celebrate the countdown in a grand way.

Till then, baby girl name suggestions are welcome. :)

Miss, you forgot to take your balance!

Welcome to the shypot land. Yes, there was a time when I was this doofus head. Wait? I still am. :s

I never liked going to the bazaar(market) alone. NEVER! Many many reasons behind that but just to cut to the fancy part -- I am shy. I was a shy kid and I always will be a shy kid.

I remember my father used to forcefully send me to buy groceries with a proper list of what all to pick from the store. And I had this consciousness that suddenly I'm on the road and everyone's just watching me. I get so tensed around people on the road that I just tend to start brisk walking. That makes me restless so there was a time when I went running to the market. Ah, don't ask.

So everytime I used to go to the store, I used to be scared of the transaction part. Ofcourse, nowadays most of the supermarkets have those machines which even tell the amount needed to subtracted and stuff. But I sucked at mental maths. I still do. Oh, another reason why I was shy. So after I used to finish getting all the stuff from the store, this was the scene most of the time:

Store guy: *telling me the total*

Me: *handing over cash like 100 or 200 waiting for change*

Store guy: Don't you have change?

Me: *nervous* Erm, No..sorry (I actually did have change but was too lazy or scared to calculate how much exactly I had to give him)

Store guy: *counting notes and giving me the change*

Me: *calculating the balance by subtracting the amount I owed him from the cash I gave him*

Store guy: Is it fine?

Me: *still calculating* Mmmhh

Store guy: Is it more or less?

Me: *getting more nervous and breaking the flow of calculations...start calculating again in my head* Wait wait..

Store guy: *starts addressing another customer*

Me: *finally get how much should be the change* Oh, yes. It's right.

Everytime this difficult phase used to be over, I used to rush back home.

I remember there were times when

-I kept calculating how much should be the change all the way back from the market till home when I was with my mom

-Whenever there was any fast transaction was involved with a complicated twist like my mom didn't have change or gave some coins to get an even number so that she can get a note of 10 or 20, I still kept thinking why the extra coins

-I forgot to take the balance from the store guy assuming that I got the stuff and it's more than enough.

My father used to give me this whole speech on how many classy subjects I'm studying but the airhead that I am still don't know to calculate mentally. And then he used to lecture me on how many schools did the people in the market go to!

Argh. Wait, am I the only one who feels nervous in public? If you have any such stories, please share to make me feel better or else I'd be the dumbest kid on planet earth :|